I wrote that sentence in my journal this morning. Three whole weeks of a rumbling tummy. Weird food aversions and fears. I babysit an (almost) three year old and when I watch her eat dinner she's eating more than me. A three year old. I think I've survived off of ice coffee and the occasional … Continue reading I’ve been hungry for three weeks
I'd like to think that this season has been defined by charcuterie boards and belly laughing on my couch with friends. By pizza and brave whispers of greatest fears. Early bedtimes, weekends spent with my parents, long walks with my favorite pup, and fresh eucalyptus in my bedroom. If you've looked at my Instagram story … Continue reading Seasons without Striving
Google the term "self-care" and a variety of topics will come up. At home spa-treatments, workouts, playlists for calming anxiety, and more. Now do not get me wrong, I am a fan of a face mask and a nice glass of wine. A Target trip. That sometimes is my version of self-care. But, in this … Continue reading What Self-Care Truly Looks Like: One Month In
I’ve been feeling unseen lately. Those words are even embarrassing to type. Much less to say out loud. I can’t even imagine mustering the courage to have that conversation. I’ve been feeling unseen lately. I’m watching my friends list dwindle. People I imagined walking with me through every phase of life choosing to walk straight … Continue reading Branches and old habits. All pruned.
I walked to my car from dinner a few weeks ago and found myself being yelled at and cat called in disgusting detail for a good five minutes. Wearing a backpack and a ponytail on a Tuesday night at 7 PM in a public space. Not that the details matter. Another time I found myself … Continue reading When?
What happens when we aren't sure how to feel about God's plan? I was on a walk with a friend the other day and posed that question. What happens when our flesh desires something other than what God has laid out for us? Is it a sin to mourn what could have been? My flesh … Continue reading A thorn in my side
Nostalgia. It’s the way it smells at dusk in the fall time. I’m back in my high school cheer uniform on the field waiting for kickoff. It’s the reason I can’t make myself walk past a tailgate spot in front of the pharmacy building or sit at the bar at Red Clay. All at once … Continue reading Front Porches
As I'm tossing my cap, there's a sweet eighteen year old girl pulling up wide eyed and ready to put her dorm room together. Dreaming of four of the best years of her life. Ready to kiss her parents goodbye and start living. I can't help but think of myself not only in 2012 as … Continue reading Be good to her, Auburn.
In January I had a little relapse of disordered eating. I won't go into detail but it wasn't pretty. I was really scared and really caught off guard by the intensity of it after spending a lot of time without restricting or consciously calorie counting. After that, something happened. I read the most incredible book- … Continue reading Figuring out Food
Let me start this off by saying that I see a therapist. Every other week I sit in a cozy office with a Ross House Latte in my hand and bawl my eyes out over life, but its good. And I don't think its taboo or weird and I'm not ashamed of it. So today … Continue reading Five Year Old Little Girls