“This isn’t forever,” I find myself whispering most days. Reminding myself that where I am is where I’m supposed to be. I can’t kick or scream or work hard enough to run from a season I was made to stand in. It looks slow, like molasses straight from the jug. Painful like losing your best … Continue reading
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An ode to my disorder
To the tiny marks on my thighs, roads filled with tears and voices filled with lies To the hip bones that once protruded, a sweet reminder of what I was doing To the size 4 shorts crumpled in the corner, my worst nightmare but proudest moment wrapped up in three inches of denim To the … Continue reading An ode to my disorder
tidbits of beautiful things
The barista at my favorite coffee shop only knows me as the girl with the cool band t-shirts who comes in for a muffin and a few hours clicking away at a keyboard. I like the girl that he sees. I'd like to be known as her. That is what 26 feels like. No clue … Continue reading tidbits of beautiful things
Reminiscing on Waves.
I've been doing some really deep work on myself for the past 22 days. Well, more like 60 days....but I really am only counting the days in 2020. Because I woke myself up this year. Praise God for that. Tonight I was going through old notes on my phone and found this ramble written back … Continue reading Reminiscing on Waves.
Self-Sabotage is lame.
I wasn't the girl who got the boy in high school. Or college. Or grad school. That stands true today too. It just isn't me. I don't exactly know why that isn't the case, But I do know that I have let it define me for as long as I can remember. Trading trendy style … Continue reading Self-Sabotage is lame.
Brave Words
There are too many pages left to be written. Too many sunsets and "laugh until you can't breathe" moments. Too many weddings to dance at and too many pretty dresses you'll get to buy. Too many times you'll be needed. Your advice and hugs and love for talking late into the night. There is too … Continue reading Brave Words
Expectations
In my mind growing up, 25 was always the year I was FOR SURE going to be married. Twenty-five just felt like so old. My mom already had 3 kids by 25. Everyone in my family was engaged or married before 25. It just felt like there was no way it wouldn’t be a reality. … Continue reading Expectations
I’ve been hungry for three weeks
I wrote that sentence in my journal this morning. Three whole weeks of a rumbling tummy. Weird food aversions and fears. I babysit an (almost) three year old and when I watch her eat dinner she's eating more than me. A three year old. I think I've survived off of ice coffee and the occasional … Continue reading I’ve been hungry for three weeks
What Self-Care Truly Looks Like: One Month In
Google the term "self-care" and a variety of topics will come up. At home spa-treatments, workouts, playlists for calming anxiety, and more. Now do not get me wrong, I am a fan of a face mask and a nice glass of wine. A Target trip. That sometimes is my version of self-care. But, in this … Continue reading What Self-Care Truly Looks Like: One Month In
Branches and old habits. All pruned.
I’ve been feeling unseen lately. Those words are even embarrassing to type. Much less to say out loud. I can’t even imagine mustering the courage to have that conversation. I’ve been feeling unseen lately. I’m watching my friends list dwindle. People I imagined walking with me through every phase of life choosing to walk straight … Continue reading Branches and old habits. All pruned.
