I’ve been doing some really deep work on myself for the past 22 days. Well, more like 60 days….but I really am only counting the days in 2020.
Because I woke myself up this year. Praise God for that.
Tonight I was going through old notes on my phone and found this ramble written back in July. It is oh so sweet to look back at this and see how far I’ve come. To see what I came from.
Waves of grief wash over me when I think about my old life. My old expectations. Old haunts and old places.
People who were supposed to show up and claim it all ok. But instead walked to my door, handed me my glasses, called me a distraction no longer needed, laughed and then walked away.
Regrets are interesting. Expectations are too. You think you’re one thing and turns out it’s not true.
Questions and reasons. Heartaches and seasons. Nothing stays the same, every single thing changes.
Waves of grief wash over me when I think about my old life. People and places I gave myself to. Only to have them use me up and be through.
Oh, but the good thing, the best thing about being used up, is the forcefulness of starting new. With only waves of grief to remind me of what used to be.