Worth + Potential

I had a really tough conversation with my parents on Sunday. About worth. About not realizing potential. About how disappointed they were that I didn’t realize my worth OR my potential.

That happens pretty easily to women specifically I think. We get so caught up in chasing success.

Perfection.
Love.
Acceptance.
Worthiness. 

We get tired and frustrated if it doesn’t happen. We get overwhelmed with all of the commitments because we want to please everyone. We feel empty because despite our efforts it doesn’t ever feel like we can do it.

My parents had to remind me that doing well at work isn’t the only definition of success. Making a 4.0 isn’t the only way I’ll ever get a job. Not having a boyfriend doesn’t mean that I’m not loved. Telling someone they’ve upset me doesn’t mean I’m weak. Messing up doesn’t mean I’m ruined.

The statement that hit me right in the gut and has had my head spinning since yesterday was this: “Pres, you can’t let people run over you for the sake of everyone liking you. You’re allowed to get mad. You’re allowed to tell someone when they hurt you. You don’t have to be everyone’s definition of good. (Thanks Dad. You give some pretty good wisdom).

Someone else doesn’t get to decide if you’re worthy or not. It feels foreign to have self-confidence and a disregard for other people’s opinion for you, I know. But lets work on it. Lets stop being small for the sake of consensus and harmony.

Let me tell you exactly what my Dad told me: you can’t let people run over you for the sake of everyone liking you. You’re allowed to get mad. You’re allowed to tell someone when they hurt you. You don’t have to be everyone’s definition of good.

Let’s find our own definitions of good. Of worthiness. Of potential. Let’s find them and stick to them.

Let’s stop chasing worthiness and start being worthy of our own happiness and no one else’s.

 

2 thoughts on “Worth + Potential

  1. Let me tell you something. When I was your age, I searched for acceptance. I searched for love. I searched for self-worth. Part of it is getting away from a school setting and getting into the “real” world of working every day with all kinds of different people. Another part comes with age, learning not to care what other people think of you, just being the real you, and learning to accept yourself. Your real friends will still be there when you’re my age. And Mr. Right is out there, just in God’s time. Be patient.

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